My first big “doing” without a plus one was my first international vacation in 2006. London-Paris-Brussels.

My mother thought I was crazy.   Co-workers who learned of my trip mentioned words, like brave, inspired, or they gave me that uncertain look, with follow-up questions:  Are you sure? By yourself?  What will you do?  Who will you talk to?  Are you going to eat at a restaurant by yourself?

Back then I wasn’t even thinking along those lines.  All I wanted to do was explore–to see what’s out there.  To learn new things, have new experiences and I did–without a plus one.

You might be thinking, of course you can do this by yourself. You’re outgoing, you’re the life of the party, or I may just start the party wherever I go. But no.  Not really.  I can hang with the best of them. I can talk up a storm–sometimes. But really what I feel on the inside whenever I venture out alone gave me insight into truly who I am.

I forced myself to do that trip back in 2006 and have been doing a solo trip almost every year since. But it didn’t just stop at trips.  I went to movies, concerts and restaurants.  The key was I ventured out solo.  I learned to love my own company. I learned to form my own opinions. I learned to see my surroundings unhindered by a second opinion and then learned a lot by myself.

So to the big question:  What’s it like going solo?
First, you have to plan.  In 2006, going to London-Paris-Brussels wasn’t like going on a beach trip. There was no lazing at the beach all day and reading a book.  I had to figure out what I wanted to do in each of these cities.  How do I get from the airport to the hotel?  Or better yet, what hotel was good enough without breaking the bank?  Reading reviews for each hotel and weighing the pros and cons before hitting the ‘buy’ button helped.

It was my first big trip, so I kept it simple–I booked a hotel and airfare package.  Doing the package helped me see the hotel options available and the locations of these hotels. Knowing the hotel options made me see what was nearby each hotel. I could then figure out what I wanted to see and choose the best hotel to see as much as I wanted.

I started with the basic hop-on-hop off tours to get my bearings around each city. I also researched the quickest way to move around. All these cities had a train system with maps, so I researched online and downloaded train maps. With basic tours and maps all done I looked to see what area was popular in each city and then crossed checked it against the train maps to figure out how to get there from my hotel.

Photo taken in Paris.  I was pulled into this cafe after getting off the hop on/off tour by the guy on the right. He pulled me  around the bar and one of his customers (guy on the left) was pulled into the photo with me. I was hysterical. I hung out with them for a few hours.

You can’t plan everything though. My first trip took an unexpected turn–in a great way–when I met these people in this photo in Paris.

Were all my trips like this?  No. But I did meet more people along the way.

Get out there and explore. You don’t have to do a big  trip.  It can be to that restaurant you’ve been dying to try out or that play you’ve been meaning to see. Just have a plan to do something on your own.

After doing it come back and tell me about it. What you do and how you do it will help someone else take that leap to hanging out without a plus one.